Books

My Worst Reads of 2015

It always seemed strange to me that reviewers, critics, and newspapers constantly make “best books of the year” lists but always ignore the worst books that they read that year. Bad book lists don’t just serve as humourous opinion piece, they are warnings. If I could personally speak to all of you and give one piece of solid advice it would be: don’t read these books. Why not instead read one of the books I chose as my best reads of the year? So enjoy this non-ordered list and laugh at the pain that each and every one of these books put me through. It’s been a rough year.

1. Satin Island by Tom McCarthy

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“In this novel we follow a character named U, no really, he’s called fucking U, while he wonders and ponders for 200ish pages. I applaud this novel on its brevity, any longer and I would have literally died of boredom.” (Review)

2. Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

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“The entire thing is just so juvenile and pedestrian. Even Ishiguro’s trademark amazing prose is completely absent from this work. You don’t care for the characters who themselves are insults to cardboard cutouts.” (Review)

3. The Goodbye Kiss by Massimo Carlotto

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“This novel is fucking detestable. From its sexual politics to its clunky plot. The female characters are reminiscent of Beaker from The Muppet Show, relegated to bleating noises and too stupid to be human.” (Review)

4. Death’s Dark Abyss by Massimo Carlotto

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“I’m not even going to review this. It doesn’t deserve my words.” (Review)

5. The Year of the Runaways by Sunjeev Sahota

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“This novel is so lacking in engaging prose or fully-rounded characters that one does not read this novel, they stare and wait for it to end. I did not care about any of these characters. There was nothing there to care about.” (Review)

6. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

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“Sense and Sensibility is dense with inactivity.” (Review)

7. The Butterfly by James M. Cain

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“James M. Cain wrote a book about a father who falls for his daughter. That’s all you need to know.” (Review)

8. Howards End by EM Forster

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“As Howards End progressed I found myself caring less and less about what was going on. By the time I was 50% of the way through I was just waiting for it to finish.” (Review)

9. Only Ever Yours by Louise O’Neill

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“I’m 99% sure I just read The Handmaid’s Tale. I mean, it’s the same book! Same setting, same characters, same message!” (Review)

10. Asking For It by Louise O’Neill

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“In the end, it’s a mess. The plot comes and goes and leaves the reader bored. The minor characters are but husks of personalities.” (Review)

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